Posted by: happyangelclub | 十一月 2, 2010

1-11-2010(5pm):Say goodbye to Mdm Yap(97yrs old)-向叶婆婆告别

记得我曾经因为老人家跌死屋内发黑发臭的事而内心非常难过,那种感觉是前所未有的,心情跌入谷底.
记得当时一位辅导员好友在电话另一端耐心听我哭泣,听我倾诉了好久。。。。。
才让我的心情得以纾解。

之后,老人跌死屋内的事还是不停发生,而我除了用上诉的方式来排解内心的压力,更以文字,为亡者和自己写一篇回忆录,作为告别之礼。
我发现这是我一个很好的疏解方式,犹如体验了一场心灵洗礼。

这几个星期六,每次拜访那个97岁卧床的老人家叶婆婆,心里总是有些心酸,即使她昏迷在床,当我触摸她的手时,她睁开眼睛,还会叫出我的名字,当她的女儿李女士向我诉苦说妈妈不吃。。。。我在她耳边告诉她:“婆婆,你听女儿的话,多少吃一些东西,才有力气,好吗?”她虽然咪着眼睛,却不停点头。。。。。

在续访的过程中,我同时告诉自己,是开始做好准备要告别她的时候了。。。。。

记得2010年6月26日探访叶婆婆时,她从医院回家休养,她的女儿告诉我,说医生说她的母亲大概只能活6个月.

2010年7月31日,叶婆婆突然告诉我说,她很想念一个曾经探望过她的女士,她拜托我在附近的巴杀找一找这个人.请她到她家走一趟,让她看一看.

我沿着婆婆所给我提供的些许资料,终于在2010年8月5日找到了那位女士,并转达了叶婆婆想见她一面的愿望.后来叶婆婆兴奋地告诉我说,这位女士真的上门探访她了,让她好开心.

之后的探访,叶婆婆有时清醒有时昏睡,身体越来越瘦削.每一次探访之前,我都问自己:”这会是最后一次吗?我还需要赶快替她完成哪些未完成的梦想吗?”

23-10-2010,我有机会把好心人陈小姐的红包轻轻放到叶婆婆的手中,并告诉她说这是陈小姐给她的祝福.希望她快快好起来.叶婆婆睁开双眼看着我,嘴角微动说谢谢. 我为有机会亲自将陈小姐的红包转交到叶婆婆手中而欣慰.

31-10-2010  再次探访叶婆婆,她的女儿告诉我说,妈妈这几天吃很少食物.

看着熟睡在床的叶婆婆,我触摸了她的手,见她没有张开眼睛看我,我不忍心打扰她,让她好好睡吧! 看着她女儿一脸的交瘁,我对她说:”这阵子你尽力陪伴和照顾妈妈,很不容易,你已经做得很好了,也该好好照顾自己哦!”

1-11-2010 晚上,叶婆婆的女儿来电告知说妈妈已经于今天下午5点多去世了.

===========================================

特写此文感谢义工和好心人陈小姐的家人和朋友们,这一年多来给于叶婆婆的支持,无论是精神上或物质上的,我相信,你们都曾经让叶婆婆度过了一段欢愉的时光.

请点击以下的录像,作为我们大家的共同回忆:

Please view the following videos, in order that we may cherish her memory together.

  1. Voices of Elderly(长者心声)97yrs – 4 Cantonese (粤语)
  2. I remember when I was previously very upset because of the incident of an elderly person dying from a fall in the house and having her body decay without anyone discovering it. I remember that a good friend of mine who was a counselor sat at the other end of the phone listening to me cry and complain… this finally gave me some form of catharsis and emotional release.After that incident, cases of elderly accidentally slipping and dying in their houses kept on happening. Aside from issuing complaints in order to relieve the stress in my heart, I composed a piece of writing as a tribute to their memory, to serve as a final farewell for them. I found that this was an effective form of closure, as if I had somehow cleansed my soul through my writing.

    These few Saturdays, every time I visit 97 year old bedridden Madam Yap, I always feel a tug at my heart strings. Even though she is drowsy and lying in a stupor on the bed, when I touch her hand, she will open her eyes, and call out my name. when her daughter (Mdm Lee) tells me that her mum is not eating… I will stand by Madam Yap’s side and say: “Auntie, listen to your daughter, at least eat something, so that you have strength, okay?” Although her eyes are tightly fastened, she will continuously nod…

    In my following visits to her, I simultaneously told myself that it was time to make preparations to say goodbye to her…

    I remember that on June 26th, 2010, when I visited Madam Yap, she had been discharged from the hospital to rest at home. Her daughter told me that the doctor had said that Madam Yap could only live about another 6 more months.

    On July 31st, 2010, Madam Yap suddenly told me that she really missed a lady who used to visit her in the past. She asked me to find this person in the nearby wet market, and ask that lady to visit Madam Yap in her house.

    I followed Madam Yap’s instructions, and based on the limited information that she had given me, I finally located that lady on August 5th, 2010. I conveyed Madam Yap’s wish to see that lady again, and as Madam Yap later told me happily, that lady had actually come to visit her, and had made her very happy.

    My following visits found Madam Yap conscious at times, and drowsy at other times. Her body was gradually weakening. Before each visit, I would ask myself: “Is this the last time? Are there any more last wishes of hers that I can fulfill?”

    On October 23rd, 2010, I had the chance to bring Miss Tan’s Angpow, and gently place it in Madam Yap’s hands. I told her that this was the blessing that Miss Tan wanted to give her, along with the wish that Madam Yap would recover quickly. Madam Yap opened her eyes and looked at me; the corners of her mouth twitched in an expression of gratitude. I was comforted by the fact that I had the chance to personally place Miss Tan’s Angpow in Madam Yap’s hands.

    On October 31st, 2010, when I visited Madam Yap again, her daughter told me that her mother had eaten very little in the past few days.

    Looking at Madam Yap sleeping peacefully on the bed, I lightly touched her hand. When I saw that she did not open her eyes to look at me, I could not bear to disturb her, but instead decided to let her sleep. Looking at her daughter’s worn face, I told her: “You have been trying your best to accompany and look after your mum. It hasn’t been easy, but you’ve already done an excellent job. you should take good care of yourself!”

    On November 1st, 2010, Madam Yap’s daughter informed me that her mother had passed away around 5 pm in the afternoon.

    I have specially written these words to express my gratitude to the volunteers, donors as well as Miss Tan and her kind family, for their support this past year. Regardless of whether you provided emotional or material support, I believe that you have all let Madam Yap experience a period of  joy and happiness. 

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